


The feeling of home

by Luca77



Category: One Piece
Genre: Big Brother Charlotte Katakuri, Internal Conflict, Luffy Being Luffy, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luca77/pseuds/Luca77
Summary: All this time, he stayed hidden, scared of their judgement. Who could know one borderline-maniac full of smiles would invade his mind like that and just take over everything he was supposed to be. Only one question remains, the next time this smile is inviting him- what will happen? Because nobody needs to tell him he’s already lost everything, including his heart, to the strawhat way of life. Please everyone, let me be selfish for once after all these years.
Relationships: Charlotte Katakuri & Charlotte Pudding, Charlotte Katakuri & Monkey D. Luffy
Comments: 14
Kudos: 168





	1. Lingering Thoughts

Katakuri slowly opened his eyes, trying to ignore the neon lights of the sickbay. Brulee must’ve brought him here somehow, he thought, and then immediately turned his head towards Smoothie, who had just moved her lips to begin a question. “Yes, I’m fine.”, he cut her off before sound even left her mouth.  
Well, his body at least was. In his mind, he could feel a storm brewing, brought upon by a ridiculously crazy gum-boy who seemed to be capable of hugging the entire world at once.  
Apparently slightly irritated, Smoothie rubbed her nose and stated “Well, you should probably wear your scarf again.” She dropped it on him and left the room with a mixture of elegance and forceful swiftness, as if she was in a hurry.

He couldn’t find the words to cut her off beforehand, not as he saw the future where she pursed her lips as if in disgust, those eyes without any real feelings except duty, how fast she left.  
He knew she was probably just pissed at more tasks and everything his defeat implied, and that was also why she was in a hurry, but he couldn’t stop the tiny voice in his mind telling him it was all the fault of his mouth. Stop it, he told himself. You were always the same as her, caring about duty and nothing else.  
But he also couldn’t stop thinking about him. How his eyes had sparkled upon seeing the way too big mouth, the cheerful “so cool” still ringing in his ears.

God, this would lead to nothing. He should rather check carefully how much he could move and help with whatever Mamas idea of revenge included. It took like forever, but after half an hour he was at least capable of walking, although the bandages still hindered him a little, and sitting down was absolutely not in question with that wound in his abdomen.  
Not according to his plans, Brulee had walked in on him shortly before he could leave and told him to just rest, Mama was already heading towards Wano with a selection of children to punish Strawhat.  
Katakuri just groaned and accepted his fate, at least he had time to think like this.

In the next few days, nothing much did happen, except his mind replaying a wide grin over and over again. If he was completely honest with himself, he couldn’t await Strawhats return for a new fight in between them.  
Although it did scare him, because he had learned to never trust people, but if Monkey D. Luffy said he’d come back, he would. It was the first time his mind hadn’t even tried to doubt, to question, to analyze, to foresee what a persons deepest motives and true character was.

But today, another visitor had come to him, and he definitely hadn’t expected it to be Pudding, because they rarely ever talked. You just couldn’t be around every single one of your siblings or close to them if you had that many. Interestingly, the first thing she did was revealing a third eye to him with a smile, then she asked: “You miss them too, don’t you?”  
Half because he was stunned, half because she was being considerate, Katakuri chose not to interrupt her out of politeness. Then he took off his scarf and smiled, smiled for a first time after what felt like an eternity.  
Okay, it was an eternity, after all he was almost 50 by now and the last time he smiled he was still a small child. He couldn’t remember anymore, he only remembered how he had stopped doing anything with his mouth, but the rain of poisonous comments still continued.

Pudding chuckled. “I take that as a yes.” He didn’t know why, but he felt ashamed of himself somehow. All the time, he was being there for his siblings, was their role model, he wanted to do everything for them, achieve happiness.  
But now Pudding, one of his siblings, had effortlessly revealed his innermost thoughts, and they clashed with reality like total opposites. So he just lowered his head a little to hide the red tinting his face, looking at the gray linoleum floor. Someone had insisted you couldn’t build a sickbay out of food, he remotely remembered.

Puddings eyes shone, together with the laugh she released now. Surprised, Katakuri turned to her; she had made him emotionally excited enough that his haki didn’t work properly anymore.  
“You know, big brother, next time they’re here, just go with them. You have done more than enough for us, and a little brat making fun of the way you look is what happens in return? Your own dreams are important too.”

With that sentence she left him, the sound of the door closing ringing in his ears for what felt like forever.


	2. The mess getting bigger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments, and for reading to everyone :)

It took him a whole day to realize, and right now, he wished he could hit himself hard enough that it’d hurt long enough for him to remember every time he was about to make the same mistake again. Pudding definitely hadn’t been herself yesterday. Either, she was a cold, out of control devil, or a sweet girl hiding behind blushes; but both of her personalities were used by her for covering up her own insecurities. 

The Pudding he saw yesterday was a self-confident normal girl, although a bit forceful, driving her points home like she’d been used to it her entire life. Fuck.

Fuck translated to Strawhat in his mind basically immediately, and he wished he could just bury himself somewhere. Mama was pissed enough as it was, and he didn’t need his haki to predict that this maniac would pull something absolutely ridiculous in Wano again, not caring about the number of Yonko or even the fact they were there. 

She was going to be seething upon her return, and Katakuri would have to tell her Pudding deserted her crew basically five minutes after talking to him. 

Okay, maybe he should leave out that part with Pudding talking to him.

The problem he had was literally giant-sized already. He was the only Sweet General left in Tottoland, staying to recover from the rather nasty wound in his side he inflicted upon himself, automatically being awaited to take care of everything during Mamas absence.

Everything, including making sure none of the crew just left, as there were always some children discontent with Mamas imagination of her family, but eventually gave up considering the hard-weighing reality.

Well, she had used the best chance she could ever get, with most of their strong members in Wano and him injured and confused, he had to give that to her.

Plus, there was no indication of anything happening beforehand, so she had sailed even out of Brulees range before anyone noticed her missing the next morning. 

It honestly couldn’t get any worse, so he just started laughing. He didn’t know why humans started laughing while realizing they were fucked, but it felt right, so he did it. 

His little sister really got him good. And Strawhat. Of course it was the rookies (fifth emperors?) fault in the first place.

It was definitely interesting how much just someones existence could cause that big of a ruckus. 

He’d seen them, newspaper article after newspaper article, and wondered how it was possible to end up there in the headlines week after week. 

He’d gotten his answer in the fight: There was just nobody as stubborn, as ridiculous, hilarious, unlogical, crazy and whatever else out there. You could even call it the little captain deserving his own adjective, luffiness or something like that.

Now he stood here, alone in the sickbay, laughing just as much as the stubborn gum human he fought probably did in a normal day. 

And he still couldn’t stop thinking of him. It had begun with him being pissed, because of the big mess Strawhat caused, then continued with him being pissed at himself because he discovered he couldn’t be pissed at Strawhat.

It just felt wrong being pissed at someone that accepting of anything that might be out there.

Katakuri sighed. He was getting nowhere like this. After all, his emotional condition was what got Pudding to escape in the first place.

Then, her words began echoing in his ears.  _ Just go with them.  _ Why didn’t he just go right now? No one could stop him, he’d just have to lie saying he had business on one of the peripheral islands of their territory. 

But immediately after, he remembered another sentence, far more vividly than the first one.

_ I’ll come back for you. _

He supposes he can wait. He’ll have hell to pay for that, but he’d never break any promise he made with Luffy. What this implies about his loyalty to Mama… for now he doesn’t want to think about it.


	3. What's left is us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm a little late, I had to gather information about the Whole Cake Island Arc in case I forgot something (It has been some time). Daifukus and Ovens true characters are made up, we didn't see much of them after all. Daifuku = the Djinn guy, Oven = ridiculous orange hair, baking all the time. 
> 
> I'm still looking for betas because it's always more difficult finding your own mistakes than someone elses. My offers are: early access to my chapters, access to all my story ideas, and if you're an author yourself I'd be happy to beta your stories in return. 
> 
> If you're interested please write me a mail: nanasailuca77@gmail.com  
> Thanks!

Katakuri, Daifuku and Oven sat together in one of their occasional meetings. They’d grown up as triplets, and what remained was the habit to meet with each other, just the three of them, now that they were adults. It wasn’t some kind of regular occurrence or followed a plan, they just met when things happened and they needed to talk about it. 

Normally they were respectively civilized, as you’d expect from siblings who’d grown up together and met again as adults to discuss about their lives. But this time, Katakuri hadn’t needed to wait a second until Oven was onto him. 

This was the mistake people always made, they took Daifuku for the scarier one. While Daifuku was brutal on the outside, he had a strong sense of loyalty towards his siblings, especially him and tried to save them from harm. He’d even hit Pudding at the wedding to save her from Mamas ire, Katakuri had seen how he held back his strength. 

But Oven was the really scary one. Oven didn’t understand how people were betraying each other, or why, and had made it his personal quest to never let a traitor escape them alive. His happy persona on the outside, singing while baking, misled everyone so far. “What the actual fuck, Aniki*? How could you let that happen with Pudding?” 

He sighed. This would be a long talk. “First of all, I was injured and tied to bed most of the time, not exactly looking around for traitors. Second, I was busy thinking about the fight I had with strawhat.” 

Now Daifuku began grinning. “You’re a bad liar, big bro. He was just like all the others, why would you need to think? Except for…?”, Daifuku trailed off. Ugh. Great, they were already onto him. One of the big disadvantages of being triplets. They knew you too well. 

While his thoughts trailed in different directions, desperately searching for an explanation to provide, Oven luckily started ranting again, giving him more time to think. “How dare you imply our perfect big bro would even think that, Daifuku? He must be frustrated enough about letting that brat escape-” 

“Stop it.”, Katakuri couldn’t bear hearing it anymore. His siblings living a happy life was more important to him than whether they were traitors from their perspective or still living in Tottoland. They were his brothers after all, and he trusted his siblings more than Mama if anything. 

Mama was like a big child, constantly craving sweets and happiness, only having secured her title because of her undeniable strength, which made her hunger attacks on her own people even worse. He hadn’t known what to do with his life other than becoming strong, becoming a sweet commander to be able to protect them. 

He never had a dream or specific wish so far, so he supposed he could at least help the people closest to him achieving theirs. Strawhat had changed this. He’d seen freedom could be happiness, been accepted for who he really was, how he really looked. It had turned into a warm feeling in his chest, one he couldn’t specify yet, but it felt similar to how he felt towards his brothers and sisters. 

Now Oven and Daifuku were staring at him while he struggled to find his words. “Strawhat wasn’t like the others.”, he finally said. Oven looked considerably shocked, while Daifuku let out a happy snicker. “See, told ya so.”, was almost interrupted by the following “How dare you-”, just for Oven to be cut off again by him raising his hand. 

“What happened in Wano? Before that, I’m not telling you anything.” Oven snorted. “Funny that you asked. He refused to fight Mama, do you know for what fucking reason?” Oh god no. Well, it was kind of predictable having seen strawhats character. “He refused to fight her, because he promised YOU to return here and defeat her!” 

At the end of this Oven was practically screaming and Daifuku rolled on the floor putting on a rather good act of dying of laughter. Even Katakuri himself couldn’t stop the short chuckle escaping his lips. “Who are you? Are you even my big brother anymore?” Oven was shaking him by the shoulders now. 

His heart dropped, and he stopped Oven with a strong grip on his arms. “Of course I am still your brother!”, he hissed back, “Do you think you suddenly mean nothing to me anymore? Even you have to accept that Mama isn’t exactly a good example of a parent or captain. If I did become a sweet commander, I did it for you guys, my siblings, and not her.” 

Oven let him go, but Katakuri could tell by the look in his eyes that they weren’t done. Finally, he asked what it came down to. “What is it about strawhat, that made you like this? What does he have, that mom doesn’t?” And for the first time in this chat, he felt freed somehow. He could be honest with them. 

Although there was still scepticism in Ovens eyes, he knew if he gave his honest answer, Oven would consider it instead of directly trying to kill him. Daifuku had looked just curious and maybe a little concerned about him up till now. So he answered: “My respect.” 

Daifuku was listening up on this and gave him a relaxed smile. It’s okay, he seemed to say, you have my support if you need it. On the other hand, Oven wasn’t taking it well, his whole face freezing over in confusion.

“Oven, you can respect your enemies too. I respect strawhat for his honesty, his persistence and the fact that he’d never judge someone after their looks.” A little clarity was showing on  Ovens face now, but it was obvious he still needed some time. In the end, they agreed to meet again after a week, hopefully some of his words had gotten through to his hot-headed brother by then. 

When Oven had stomped off in a fast speed, Daifuku laid his hand on Katakuris shoulder from behind, to gather his attention while passing by to leave. “I’m proud of you. You finally found something  _ you _ want.” Katakuri smiled while watching Daifukus back getting smaller in the distance. Yes, he guessed he had.

  
  
  


*Aniki --- japanese for “big brother”

  
  
  
  
  



	4. Spoilt brats and sugar canes

A knock on his door interrupted his daily rest. The medical team had insisted he’d take it a bit more easy to avoid aggravating his wound and possibly pulling his stitches. He wanted to shout an invitation towards the door, but closed his mouth as it already flew open to reveal- Flampe.

Oh great. The scenes of the fight were replaying in his head. And it was this stupid brat who had ruined everything, and to top it off, laughed at him. So no one could blame him for the rather shroff: “What do you want?” towards her. He noticed she looked considerably shocked at this. 

God, she hadn’t actually stuck to the belief she’d done him a favor with interfering, right? Next second, he didn’t need to think about it anymore. Flampe giggled. “But Aniki, I’m your little sis. Of course I will visit you when this little straw hat cretin made you hurt so bad. I’m doing a tea party with my puppets to make you feel better, come join us!” 

He wasn’t sure anymore if the sickness in his stomach came from the terrible cute girl act, his disgust towards her words or the fact he’d moved too fast despite his injury. He only knew he was standing up now. “Out. I don’t want to join a tea party.” He could barely refrain himself from shouting.

Shouting would’ve given away his feelings were actually more than affected, and he didn’t trust Flampe to keep things to herself. She was manipulative and heartless after all, a token to growing up in a siblings competition and wanting to win, no matter the cost. Flampe shed crocodile tears now. 

He knew he needed to end this. Fast. “I’m not allowed hot beverages anyways. Please leave me alone, I want to think about something.” Flampe eyed him curiously. Seemed like her brain was figuring out what gossip to make of his statement. “Okay,”, she then sing-songed, “but remember if you want to take your brain off things, come to me, Aniki!”

With this, she skipped out of the door, thankfully, finally leaving him alone. His heartbeat had accelerated from nervousness. The worst she’d think now was he was probably ashamed of his defeat or something, but he’d avoided the biggest headache. He let himself sink into the pillows of his couch again.

Later that day, he’d come to a conclusion. Okay, he’d been there earlier, but dodged it like his life depended on this. Flampe had reminded him he couldn’t stay here, or he’d snap sooner or later. He knew there were siblings who supported his case, but he too had a ton of clueless siblings he didn’t know what to say to. 

So he started to walk towards Perosperos office. All of them had returned for about a week now, and he couldn’t count on Brulee, Oven and Daifuku forever. Like he expected him to,

Oven didn’t take the blow easily, but he’d been discreet as always, trusting him enough not to make a fuss over it. Often, it was just his brothers temper getting in the way of himself.

And sure he was right in his assumptions. Perospero basically screamed in his ear: “You want me to WHAT?”. He just gave him his levelled stare. “I want you to take over here and care of everyone when Mama gets defeated by Strawhat. Because I’m leaving.” Perospero was fuming now. “What even makes you assume this will happen?”

He chuckled. “I fought him for twelve hours straight, Peros. I dare making some assumptions about his personality.” He knew his brother was livid, so livid he forgot his usual act of licking his sugar cane while talking. “Do you even know what they said? Basically everyone wants you to take over, despite me being the older one! This is like the booby prize! I don’t want this! Not like that!”

Seemed like he’d hurt his big brothers ego with his plea. He sighed. “Peros, I’m asking you because I trust you to be a good leader. You may have your episodes of pride, but you don’t let anyone exploit your weaknesses. If you really don’t want it ask Smoothie. But you know how indecisive she is without orders.”

Perosperos teeth were cracking the sugar cane now, a telltale sign of his nervousness. “You really think I’m good enough?” He hadn’t expected him to snap like that. He knew Perospero long enough to just know, but he’d never expected him to say so out loud. So he did the only thing he could do for his brother. “Yes, I do.” No doubt in his voice.

The following days, he got almost stalked into insanity by Perospero. It varied from panic attacks like “You can’t just up and leave us!” to resentment “I hate you! Go die out there!” to - admittedly rare - apologies “I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous.”. He knew Perospero wasn’t taking it well. But he tried, so he couldn’t resent him.

He knew Perospero was trying to guilt-trip him into staying, and it worked. But he also was aware Perospero really wanted to take over and just needed a vent for the feeling of not being good enough. He just hoped that with all the weird gazes they attracted, none of the siblings had ever listened in enough to come to conclusions yet. 

At the time when he had to defend himself from Mama, he wanted to openly do so and sail away as a free man. He really, genuinely liked Luffy, but he couldn’t force the Strawhat to accept him into his crew. If you became a Yonko with eight or nine crewmembers, you don’t let just anyone join. If he got an invitation though, he wouldn’t decline.

  
  
  



	5. Defeat

He’d gone all over it in his head again and again. How they had finally stood, face to face, nothing mattering but their fight, in the mirror world. It had been a long time since he fought, and to be honest, he didn’t expect much. But Strawhat kept and kept surprising him. 

It was supposed to be just another rookie, just another nobody to forget quickly. In contrary, Strawhat gave him a vibe of… Was it danger? No. It was fun. The little rookie, looking like nothing more than just a boy, had fun He was dwarfing him, dominating him, being superior in every aspect, but the stupid Strawhat had fun. 

The glint in his eyes, as if it was a challenge, a challenge he could win, never dimming once. Katakuri was amazed. Most of his opponents were either throwing useless temper tantrums or faltering under his gaze when their roles became clear, yet Strawhat embraced victory without a thought, despite knowing he was the weaker one. 

They got locked in another bout of testing the enemy, testing each other with a flurry of blows. And suddenly Strawhat flinched. Without any obvious reason, taking a blow from his trident. His heart dropped. This could’ve been fun. It was the best fight he ever had until now, the first real opponent he didn’t hopelessly outclass. Well, at least according to the shine in Strawhats eyes all the time. 

He remembers their training. Trust your enemy, he knows you better than yourself. Now, he looks up to Mama, stopping himself from zoning out. Napoleon is in her hand, being wildly swung around, while Prometheus is set aflame, angrily spewing fire everywhere. An inferno grande is brewing over Tottoland, the weather affected by her ire. 

Still, it is different than anything it used to look like. The dark, smoky clouds and dry air including incredible heat are still there, but it misses the friction, the electrical tension of the atmosphere, the typical thunderbolts. Katakuri is overcome by a weird feeling of incomplete nostalgia. He notices Perosperos unnatural silence by his side. 

They can’t interfere. But they know she’ll lose. At least he does. Strawhat is wearing the exact same expression. It seems time for him to go. It has only been a few weeks, but with the high tension it felt like forever to him. All the stupid tasks they made him do and he couldn’t recline because of his slip up with Pudding. 

But he admits, that in a weird way all of those tasks seemed to keep him at a certain distance from Mama, so he is sure his idiot siblings just tried to care for him in their own way. 

He remembers all of them. 

Pudding.  _ Why don’t you just go with them?  _

Daifuku.  _ I’m glad that you found something that makes you happy.  _

Brulee.  _ I can’t believe you’re happy about this brat escaping.  _

Oven.  _ I don’t get you. But I can’t stop you for your own good.  _

Flampe.  _ This little Strawhat cretin made you hurt so bad.  _

Perospero.  _ Do you really think I can?  _

It’s time to say goodbye for him.

  
  
  


On a small island, protected by the red-haired pirates, a new resident and bakery owner opens her newspaper.  **_“Big Mom defeated! Charlotte Katakuri joins the Strawhats”_ ** She can’t help but smile to herself. I’m glad you found a new home, big brother. Just like I did. Underneath the headline, there is a photo printed, the very same decorating his new bounty poster. It shows sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally done! Thanks for reading :)


End file.
